Great. Yesterday, when our governor issued new guidelines for essential services and social distancing due to the coronavirus, it quickly became apparent that there were still several things that I could do. Unfortunately, while I am completely capable of doing all of them, I do not actually like to do any of these things.
Here, however, is what I can do:
Grocery shop- This is my all-time least favorite task. There is nothing less fulfilling to me than making a list, grabbing my coupons, driving to the store, and shopping. Nor does it end there. As the groceries continually slide down the belt, I then have to quickly outmaneuver the well-intentioned, overly friendly baggers, who persist in wasting plastic bags by only putting two to three items in each, as if my arms will detach from their sockets when I lift the bags into the trunk of my car. If I have been quick enough to slip through undetected to efficiently bag my own groceries in my own green bags, I can then take everything to the car, load it up, drive home, and then unload all the groceries that I just spent the last hour loading. All just to have my husband say to me, “You went to the food store? You didn’t even get anything.” And if that weren’t enough, this past week was especially difficult since the hoarders had already grabbed all of the eggs, juice, butter, cheese, and bread. Luckily, I did not have to waste my time waiting in line behind any of these people, and I was especially thankful I wasn’t behind the guy from Kansas who’d loaded up the conveyor belt with 227 condoms. Don’t judge. We all have our priorities.
Clean- Of course, we all clean our houses to some degree. Some of us, however, clean less regularly than others since we have succumbed to the lure of a cleaning service. So here is where I confess that aside from loading the dishwasher, doing laundry (which my husband did for years until I “retired”), and giving the downstairs an occasional vacuum, I do not actually clean my house. It’s not that I mind work; in fact, I love working outside, whether I’m mowing, raking, planting, or even—my favorite—power washing. It’s just that aside from making my bed every day (a habit that my younger son refers to as “OCD”), I really don’t enjoy cleaning rituals like dusting and mopping, nor am I as capable as the ladies who swoop through my house in an hour and ten minutes twice a month, swabbing the wood floors with Murphy’s Oil Soap, smearing our furniture with lemony Pledge (this habit has, unfortunately, led us to sliding off of our kitchen chairs at times), and leaving a scent of Fabuloso wafting through the air. Unfortunately, I may have to bust out the dust rags and Windex myself this week since I am not sure cleaning my house constitutes an “essential service.”
Run- Nearly all of the doctors, health officials, and politicians have urged us to keep up our immune systems by continuing to exercise. While walking is indeed healthy and, of course, quite doable by most people, myself included, I’ve always felt the need to really get my heart pumping for me to feel like I’ve exercised. To me, that means some form of punishing aerobic activity. Since the gym and all of its machines are off-limits, that means running. At this point in my life, I have been running for over 30 years. I have to admit that I enjoy it at some points–mainly for the first quarter of a mile. After that, it is all downhill—in a figurative sense only because our neighborhood has numerous large hills, and I am truly ready to pack it in at any time. If I ever discover that elusive “runner’s high,” I will bust out a pack of EZ Widers, but until that happens, I’m not holding my breath.
After this general rant, however, I am reminded that so far, I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to do all of these chores, whether I look forward to them or not. And since I’m writing this at around 5 p.m., I am also reminded that there is another activity (not specifically mentioned, strangely) in which I can participate, as well, now that the running, cleaning, and grocery shopping have all been done. Cheers!